Anxiety has been a constant presence in my life for as long as I can remember. Undertow began as an effort to translate this internal restlessness into a visible, tangible form. Through this process, I have come to understand anxiety as both adversary and protector — a source of needless fear and a cautious guardian.

This work explores the “shadow self” which influences how I move through the world, in both familiar and unknowable ways. A low hum through adulthood, anxiety has come roaring back amid the hormonal chaos of perimenopause.

Using black and white imagery with touches of colour, I also employ double exposures and textured layers to evoke the starkness and complexity of my emotions. The first part of the series depicts how anxiety feels to me, drawing on motifs from vivid dreams.

Anxiety’s physical manifestations are also present: the tight, hunched neck and shoulders, the instinct to shrink away, the ongoing, exhausting vigilance. Birds and feathers recur as symbols of fragile, watchful beauty, while rituals and breath exercises emerge as forms of coping with and calming my turbulent thoughts.

This series is a meditation on the duality inherent in anxiety — light and dark, control and chaos, movement and stillness. It brings with it an acceptance of the messiness of my mind and a recognition of this shadow’s constant presence. I acknowledge the invisible pull beneath the surface — a quiet force that shapes but does not define.